Part 1 of 2

Note: This booklet was sent to people who made iquiries with ALARM Network and ANSRS. These were search and support groups I lead for many years. Two years ago it was reformatted so it could be used by any support group and not just the ones I lead. It is presented here in its entirety and not edited for the Web.

This booklet was written and copyrighted by Ginni D Snodgrass, 1991. All rights Reserved. Revised 1993, 1994, 1996. Tualatin OR 97062-9046

This booklet is fully protected by United States Copyright laws. You may print yourself a copy for personal use, but it may not be printed and distributed in any form, nor may any portion of it be changed in any way.

The purpose of this booklet is to get the truth of the adoption experience to the public. The reform movement receives inquiries from the media, teachers, students and others. Unfortunately, most of the focus is on how nice reunions are, or the need for more infants to adopt.

Reunions are more than nice; they are necessary!

The purpose of an adoption is to provide children without a family able to care for them with a family who can. It is not to provide an infertile couple a child.

This booklet should give you enough information to start a research project. This booklet is not intended to tell you all there is to know about the adoption experience or search and reunion.

There are approximately six million adoptees in the United States out of approximately 248 million people. This means one in every 42nd person is adopted, outside the family circle. If you add to this two adoptive parents and two birthparents for six million adoptees, it adds up to 30 million people; now one in every eighth person is directly affected.

Adoption reform is a CIVIL RIGHTS movement. Millions of Americans are denied EQUAL RIGHTS, and it is written into the law. The triad (adoptees, birthparents and adoptive parents), an identifiable class of citizens, are being denied rights those not in the class of citizens have. This is unconstitutional. The triad is seeking their CIVIL RIGHTS by gaining "EQUAL ACCESS to Records" and information that anyone has access to who has not been affected by adoption.

Most people take for granted what adoptees need to know. They need to know their national origins, religious background and medical history. To see someone they look like, act like, talk, walk, and think like, that connection to the world. They need to know where they got their curly hair, blue eyes, crooked teeth, singing voice, love of spaghetti.

Most people take for granted what birthparents need to know. They need to know what happened to their child? Is their child dead or alive? Is their child all right?

Read -- it is quite possible that nearly everything you have been told about the adoption experience is not true. Society is full of myths about adoption. A beginner's book list is included.

The system of adoption, as practiced in this century is a cruel and inhumane process to all involved. The closed-secret adoption most of us have come to know is not the way it has always been. The secrecy is a new experiment of the "Clean Break" theory by social workers. The records began being sealed about 50 years ago. There are only a few industrialized western civilizations that have secrecy in adoption; most do not. The United States is behind the rest of the world.

The birth certificate was originally amended to protect the adoptee from the stigma of illegitimacy. The original birth certificate and court records were sealed years later, to protect the adoptive family from public scrutiny. The records were not sealed to protect the birthmother, as it is assumed.

The secrecy involved in adoption is destructive, most especially, to the one it was supposedly designed to assist, the adoptee. "Equal Access to Records" is only one small part of the reform necessary in adoption. If people really understood what adoption practices were, they would be appalled. The reform movement is working on many areas of adoption reform.

Secrecy builds obstacles to forming a healthy identity. Sealed records demand an extreme form of denial. There is no school of psychotherapy that regards denial as a positive way to form a sense of self and deal with day-to-day situations.

People are more a product of their genes than their environment. The environment has an impact on their genes.

There are vulnerabilities shared by all adoptees. In those most vulnerable, distinctive patterns can be seen. Some have labeled this the "Adopted Child Syndrome."

• Studies show an average of 35% of the young people in residential treatment centers are adoptees. This is 17 times the norm.

• Adoptees are more likely to have difficulties with drug and alcohol abuse, as well as, eating disorders, attention deficit disorder, infertility, suicide and untimely pregnancies.

• Adoptees are more likely to live alternative lifestyles.

• Alarmingly high numbers of adoptees are sent to disciplinary-correctional schools or are locked out of their homes (adoptive).

• 60 to 80% of the teens at Coldwater Canyon's Center for Personal Development, are adopted. That is 30 to 40 times the norm.

• 50 to 70% of the teens at The Haven in New Trier Township, IL, are adopted. That is 25 to 35 times the norm.

• Most birthmothers experienced deep anguish and feelings of loss and pain that remains undimmed with time. The intense grief is immeasurable. Surrendering a child to adoption can be likened to a psychological amputation.

• 90% felt deeply harmed by adoption and said it was the most traumatic experience of their life.

• Between 44 and 69% said they surrendered against their will and were pressured.

• Birthmothers have difficulties with depression, being weepy, restless, anxious, malaise, agoraphobia, alienation, and forgetfulness.

• Some chose never to give birth to another child, and of those who did try, had an infertility rate 170% higher than the general population.

• Resources are not given for the above statistics because they are a compilation of hundreds of resources. These statements are not exaggerations, quotes taken out of context, or misuse of facts. You will find them in the recommended reading.

There are two aspects to adoption reform. Reconciling wrongs of the past and stopping future wrongs.

Reform - Reconciling the past.

Search is an emotional experience. A search has many emotional highs and lows, wins and losses.

As necessary as the reform movement believes reunions are, we acknowledge that they can be traumatic. We know the reunions that have the most difficulty are the ones where a support group was not involved.

After reunion nearly all will tell you that they feel a thousand pounds lighter, a peace and calm they have never had before. People have changed dramatically.

Reunion cannot possibly be wrong. It brings such peace and positive results.

The reform movement talks a great deal about the triad's rights. They have a human right to know the truth of their adoption experience, and to meet people to whom they are related. As with any right, they accept responsibility. They have a right to the truth, but they also have the responsibility to act with discretion and compassion.

Participating in a group will give the searcher the opportunity to meet other members of the triad. If they are an adoptee they will meet birthmothers and hear first hand what she feels concerning her child. More than likely, they will hear how she was forced into surrendering her baby. They will hear how she never stopped thinking of her baby, how very much she LOVED her baby. They will learn how badly she WANTED her baby.

Birthparents -- will hear how adoptees love their adoptive parents, but sometimes felt as if they did not really belong. They will hear what it is like for them to live their life without knowing what nationality they are. Not being able to look at someone else who looks like you. How they worry about unknown diseases in their genes, and fear of passing those unknown diseases onto their children. What it is like to live with a taboo in the house, never to be thoroughly discussed. And, you will hear stories of abuse by adoptive parents.

This is the truth in adoption.

Those affected by adoption are only asking that they be treated equal to the rest of society. They want equal access to records directly relating to themselves. They are not asking that the public be allowed access to the files, only themselves.

The adoptee wants access to their original birth certificate, the first mark in history of their existence. Other records sought are the court records and agency records.

The laws require confidentiality in adoption matters. Confidentiality is necessary. The public does not need to know. Only those affected by an adoption need to know.

The secrecy was imposed on the triad; it was not requested by birthparents. They had no choice. In fact, sometimes, they were told the adoptee would receive identifying information when they came of age.

Search is not something that a person goes into lightly. The simplest of searches will have many emotional, time and financial aspects. Volunteers try to prepare people for what they are about to begin.

It is interesting how people want to protect adults from unpleasant information in their background. A birthparent who may be a convict, or disreputable. Sometimes, to begin with, adoptees assume the worse, not much could be worse than their imaginings. There is still important knowledge to be gained from people with an unpleasant history.

One thing we hear from adoptees is that they just want some information, a medical history, and sometimes will go as far to say they want to know siblings. They are afraid to admit wanting to know their birthmother; they do not want to appear ungrateful and disloyal. To want to know more about yourself is not being ungrateful or disloyal. There is a true psychological need to know all the people you to whom you are related. To repress this need is to stifle emotional growth.

You cannot get a medical history without your birth-family being contacted. What, if any medical information was collected 20, 30, 50 years ago is not valid today.

The reform movement believes that each individual should do their own search. The search process itself is healing. A part of the healing that is important will come from them taking control in their life and going forth. Other people have been in control far too long.

Some adoption agencies will do a secret intermediary search, for a fee. If they do not receive permission to release the information the searcher does not get it. The searcher is again faced with doing a search themselves. Yes, we have followed-up intermediary searches and had successful reunions. Too often intermediaries fail at contact.

We believe that each individual should make their own initial contact of the person sought. An intermediary does not allow the person sought to hear the sincerity in the searcher's voice. A third party contact can feel like a threat. Also, the birthmother may be the only one who can tell the adoptee who their birthfather is. If a person does not feel they can make the call, they are probably not ready for the reunion. They need to wait until they can do it themselves.

There are no guarantees. 85% of searches are successful at finding the person sought. In reality, if you have enough money you can nearly always find. All the sealed records are doing is costing those involved additional trauma, time and money.

Other than the Federal Indian Child Welfare Act there are currently no laws governing adoption search and reunion.

Federal law has made special provisions for adoptees who are of Native American descent. We are surprised at the numbers of adoptees who fall into this category who do not appear to be of Native American ancestry.

Indian Child Welfare Act of 1978

SECTION 107. [aka 25 USC 1917] Upon application by an Indian individual who has reached the age of eighteen and who was the subject of an adoptive placement, the court which entered the final decree shall inform such individual of the tribal affiliation, if any, of the individual's biological parents and provide such other information as may be necessary to protect any rights from flowing from the individual's tribal relationship.

The biggest problem is that many of adoptees have an Indian heritage, but nothing in their records will indicate this, and they are not personally aware of it.

State Law

There seems to be a great deal of misunderstanding as to exactly what the adoption laws are. People seem to think the laws have changed, but they have not, at least as far as making things better. Some of the laws have actually made the system of adoption worse.

Many states now have registries. In 1990 the American Adoption Congress began a boycott on state or agency run registries. The reason is that they are not effective.

There is a FREE International Registry, ISRR (International Soundex Reunion Registry). No, do not get your hopes up; the best is successful only about 7% of the time. The average success rate of all registries is 2%. Do register though; it will not hurt.

Most states now require "non-identifying" information be given to at least the adult adoptee, adoptive parents and the birthparents. In most states there is no definition of what non-identifying information is.

Search groups/assistants are more effective than most private detectives, attorneys, and adoption agencies, and cost a lot less. We leave the searcher in control. Many private detectives and attorneys require that they make the contact and receive permission for them to pass on the information paid for by YOU.

Mental health professionals, unfortunately, are not attuned to the truth in adoption. Too often, volunteers hear stories of birthmothers being told to forget about their child because that happened a long time ago. Adoptees are told that birthmothers have closed that chapter in their life. If they specialize in adoption counseling, too often, they work mostly with adoptive parents and their infertility issues, and therefore are overly concerned with protecting adoptive parents feelings.

Ginni D Snodgrass
©Copyright 1991-1996
All rights reserved.